Following the little notice posted in gym recently, FF e-newsletter put up an article on gym etiquette which rather amusing to read...
Fitness First E-news: "Gym Floor Etiquette 101
Gym Floor Etiquette 101
So this is your year to get in or stay in shape! But somewhere in your subconscious is that niggling fear... what if do something silly on the gymfloor? Hey, relax; you can be a seasoned veteran, with over 1,000 step classes under your belt and the blisters to prove it, and still commit a fitness faux pas. And just like I didn’t know it was poor form to double dip a corn chip until someone told me, gym floor goof-ups ain’t in the ten commandments, so ignorance is a fair excuse. That is, until now!
By following the 5 Golden Rules of Gym Floor Etiquette you’ll possess the confidence to get out on the floor, love your fellow members, maintain a high standard of care for the environment, and enjoy your workout a thousand times more than if you stopped reading here. So what are we waiting for?
1. If you got it from Point A, don’t put it back at Point B
The gym opens in the morning looking immaculate, with a place for everything and everything in it’s place, yet 30 minutes later it resembles the bottom of Amy Winehouse’s handbag. How does this happen? There are no tornadoes in Australia, no 8.5 on the Richter scale-type earthquakes, but somehow the 45kg dumbbells end up racked where the 5kg fellas go, and the 5kg dumbbells are nowhere to be seen. You see stretch mats stuck in treadmills and Swissballs in the car park. Okay, it’s maybe not quite that bad, but you understand what I mean. The bottom line is that all this mess can be avoided by following the rule of putting things back where you found them. Sometimes this means you might have to walk a couple of steps further than you’d like, but that can only make you fitter, right?
2. If you wet it, wipe it down
Just like when you go to the library and expect to read books, you go to the gym and expect to sweat. Sweat is a good thing and a sign of a solid workout but this five-letter word can make other members say four-letter words when it’s not theirs, and if it’s all over the place. There’s nothing worse than getting ready to blast away on the chest press machine, only to find the last person left it wetter than the Pacific Ocean. Now, I’m a sweater myself, but when I train I take extra care to make sure that I mop up after myself. Know thy sweat glands and if they’re active, think like a boy scout and be prepared. For peace on earth, towels must become your best friend!
3. Toilets
This is a big idea. Let’s keep the toilets clean. And with prevention always being better than a cure, this journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step; a single mantra, just like Barack Obama’s ‘Yes, we can!’ At Fitness First, ours is ‘In the can!’ Let’s get it ALL in there, every drop! Boys, keep your eyes open when taking aim. Girls, you can close your eyes because you sit down, but resist the urge to spin round and round while tinkling! People peeing with eyes closed and spinning round and round are the only ways that I can think of as to why the floor in the loos end up like the bottom deck of the Titanic. Hey, this is pushing it, but a public lavvy ain’t an art gallery, and it’s no secret that no one wants to see your impression of a Jackson Pollack painting. Abstract Expressionism has its place, and it’s hanging on the walls of the Guggenheim or the MoMA, so if you know you got creative while sitting, then please – for the love of your fellow members – grab the toilet brush and do the right thing; or at least tell a member of staff (and a priest).
4. The Personal Space Race
I’m going to wrap up a few things here under one heading, because learning where to stand in a gym is vital to the success of your workout. Now, the trick to having a hassle-free workout in a commercial gym is to be flexible on where you position yourself to do your weights, ab workouts or stretching. My tip is to look for the space and embrace molecular diffusion. The dumbbells you want to use are on the rack right there, but if the surrounding area is more crowded than a Tokyo train, so taking 10 steps to the left may put you in the clear. If it means you have to keep zig-zagging all workout, great! Think of it as extra energy burned!
Here are a few other personal space saving do’s and don’ts:
* No matter how bad your eyesight is, always exercise at least five steps back from the dumbbell rack. Weights are heavy and fingers get slippery and if a falling 25kg dumbbell meets your toe, the toe always comes out looking flatter than Elvis’ EKG.
* An arm’s length distance is always desirable to have between you and your fellow trainee. This is universal. You can take this concept to a Fitness First in Germany, and it’ll keep you out of trouble. An arm’s length is an arm’s length, even if there is a language barrier.
* Sometimes the stretch area can look like a scene from ‘Saving Private Ryan’ (i.e., people strewn everywhere, you can’t see the carpet for the body parts. So take the above two points and see if you can implement them. And be aware that people do some crazy stuff in some crazy outfits in that area. I’ve seen things pop out of leotards that aged me. My advice... eyes to the floor at all times. Your innocence is at stake.
5. Share and share alike
I’ve saved the best for last. If I could teach every member in Fitness First one thing, one tip that would make everybody love everybody it’s to learn to share. There’s nothing wrong with hopping off the machine you’re using and letting someone else have a go in between your sets. And the best question you can learn to ask at a gym is ‘Do you mind if I work in with you?’ Nine times out of ten you’ll get a person just like you, who is friendly and more than accommodating. That one time out of ten... don’t worry! They’re in the minority, and weren’t hugged enough as children. I swear... if everyone did this, there would be no long waits for equipment and everyone would get better results. Sharing is caring... just not with your sweat or wee wee, please; thank you!"
I guess afew 'happy' friends of mine may use point 5 as a pick-up-line in gym ;-)
Fitness First E-news: "Gym Floor Etiquette 101
Gym Floor Etiquette 101
So this is your year to get in or stay in shape! But somewhere in your subconscious is that niggling fear... what if do something silly on the gymfloor? Hey, relax; you can be a seasoned veteran, with over 1,000 step classes under your belt and the blisters to prove it, and still commit a fitness faux pas. And just like I didn’t know it was poor form to double dip a corn chip until someone told me, gym floor goof-ups ain’t in the ten commandments, so ignorance is a fair excuse. That is, until now!
By following the 5 Golden Rules of Gym Floor Etiquette you’ll possess the confidence to get out on the floor, love your fellow members, maintain a high standard of care for the environment, and enjoy your workout a thousand times more than if you stopped reading here. So what are we waiting for?
1. If you got it from Point A, don’t put it back at Point B
The gym opens in the morning looking immaculate, with a place for everything and everything in it’s place, yet 30 minutes later it resembles the bottom of Amy Winehouse’s handbag. How does this happen? There are no tornadoes in Australia, no 8.5 on the Richter scale-type earthquakes, but somehow the 45kg dumbbells end up racked where the 5kg fellas go, and the 5kg dumbbells are nowhere to be seen. You see stretch mats stuck in treadmills and Swissballs in the car park. Okay, it’s maybe not quite that bad, but you understand what I mean. The bottom line is that all this mess can be avoided by following the rule of putting things back where you found them. Sometimes this means you might have to walk a couple of steps further than you’d like, but that can only make you fitter, right?
2. If you wet it, wipe it down
Just like when you go to the library and expect to read books, you go to the gym and expect to sweat. Sweat is a good thing and a sign of a solid workout but this five-letter word can make other members say four-letter words when it’s not theirs, and if it’s all over the place. There’s nothing worse than getting ready to blast away on the chest press machine, only to find the last person left it wetter than the Pacific Ocean. Now, I’m a sweater myself, but when I train I take extra care to make sure that I mop up after myself. Know thy sweat glands and if they’re active, think like a boy scout and be prepared. For peace on earth, towels must become your best friend!
3. Toilets
This is a big idea. Let’s keep the toilets clean. And with prevention always being better than a cure, this journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step; a single mantra, just like Barack Obama’s ‘Yes, we can!’ At Fitness First, ours is ‘In the can!’ Let’s get it ALL in there, every drop! Boys, keep your eyes open when taking aim. Girls, you can close your eyes because you sit down, but resist the urge to spin round and round while tinkling! People peeing with eyes closed and spinning round and round are the only ways that I can think of as to why the floor in the loos end up like the bottom deck of the Titanic. Hey, this is pushing it, but a public lavvy ain’t an art gallery, and it’s no secret that no one wants to see your impression of a Jackson Pollack painting. Abstract Expressionism has its place, and it’s hanging on the walls of the Guggenheim or the MoMA, so if you know you got creative while sitting, then please – for the love of your fellow members – grab the toilet brush and do the right thing; or at least tell a member of staff (and a priest).
4. The Personal Space Race
I’m going to wrap up a few things here under one heading, because learning where to stand in a gym is vital to the success of your workout. Now, the trick to having a hassle-free workout in a commercial gym is to be flexible on where you position yourself to do your weights, ab workouts or stretching. My tip is to look for the space and embrace molecular diffusion. The dumbbells you want to use are on the rack right there, but if the surrounding area is more crowded than a Tokyo train, so taking 10 steps to the left may put you in the clear. If it means you have to keep zig-zagging all workout, great! Think of it as extra energy burned!
Here are a few other personal space saving do’s and don’ts:
* No matter how bad your eyesight is, always exercise at least five steps back from the dumbbell rack. Weights are heavy and fingers get slippery and if a falling 25kg dumbbell meets your toe, the toe always comes out looking flatter than Elvis’ EKG.
* An arm’s length distance is always desirable to have between you and your fellow trainee. This is universal. You can take this concept to a Fitness First in Germany, and it’ll keep you out of trouble. An arm’s length is an arm’s length, even if there is a language barrier.
* Sometimes the stretch area can look like a scene from ‘Saving Private Ryan’ (i.e., people strewn everywhere, you can’t see the carpet for the body parts. So take the above two points and see if you can implement them. And be aware that people do some crazy stuff in some crazy outfits in that area. I’ve seen things pop out of leotards that aged me. My advice... eyes to the floor at all times. Your innocence is at stake.
5. Share and share alike
I’ve saved the best for last. If I could teach every member in Fitness First one thing, one tip that would make everybody love everybody it’s to learn to share. There’s nothing wrong with hopping off the machine you’re using and letting someone else have a go in between your sets. And the best question you can learn to ask at a gym is ‘Do you mind if I work in with you?’ Nine times out of ten you’ll get a person just like you, who is friendly and more than accommodating. That one time out of ten... don’t worry! They’re in the minority, and weren’t hugged enough as children. I swear... if everyone did this, there would be no long waits for equipment and everyone would get better results. Sharing is caring... just not with your sweat or wee wee, please; thank you!"
I guess afew 'happy' friends of mine may use point 5 as a pick-up-line in gym ;-)
